success!!
they finally took all of my garbage. All i had to do was take all of the garbage out of the garbage can, take any small stuff and put it into a larger bag and ensure that none of the bags were stuck in the can.
who knew paying someone to take my garbage would be so much work. especially since my neighbors appear to be able to throw away anything they want and the garbage men take it. we're talking chunks of wood with nails in them sticking out of the garbage can, boxes that are not broken down, and just loose trash all inside the can and around the can.
i must figure out a way to modify a garbage bag to break just when i want it to. then i can fill it with loose litter and cat waste, and just when it's dangling over their feet or in their hands BOOM! out comes the crap. all over them and the ground. i can have a camera setup to snap a picture just at that moment. just like on a roller coaster. then the next week, i can give them their pictures in little cardboard frames to document their fun at my house that day.
and yes i'm aware i will be the one cleaning the cat crap out of the street. it will be totally worth it.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
week 2
well, for the second week in a row my garbage men have refused to take my garbage. they took the two bags i had laying on the ground next to the garbage can, but left the contents of the garbage can in place. I even took 1/2 of the content of the garbage can out and put it into one of the bags i had on the ground. so the garbage can consisted of 1 large garbage bag and several smaller, tied closed, grocery bags of cat litter.
i would say that maybe the guy has a thing about touching bags of cat crap, but since i have lived here for 3 years and they have never refused to empty the can....i just don't know.
maybe i just need to hang out at home next tuesday and when the truck pulls up, i can run out, hand them a pad of paper and a pen, tell them to take notes, then pick the garbage can up and dump it into the truck myself. maybe i should give them crayons instead of a pencil.
i wish i had a job where i could deprive them of a basic service they pay for just because i'm lazy.
i would say that maybe the guy has a thing about touching bags of cat crap, but since i have lived here for 3 years and they have never refused to empty the can....i just don't know.
maybe i just need to hang out at home next tuesday and when the truck pulls up, i can run out, hand them a pad of paper and a pen, tell them to take notes, then pick the garbage can up and dump it into the truck myself. maybe i should give them crayons instead of a pencil.
i wish i had a job where i could deprive them of a basic service they pay for just because i'm lazy.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
i've said it once and i'll say it again: i hate my garbage men
my faithful readers know about my complaining about my mailman and my garbage men. the mailman problem fixed itself when i got a new mailman that isn't a dick.
the garbage man problem seems to be better than ever.
thanks to lots of recycling and just not creating that much trash, i only put a can on the side of the road about once a month. 1 time a month i ask my garbage men to do a job that i technically pay them to do 4 times a month. i would say that's a pretty good deal.
now it goes without saying that most of the garbage i do throw away is bags of cat litter which can cause some weight. but in the grand scheme of garbage, it's not that heavy. so for the first time in a month, i put my garbage out this morning. this was what, to my surprise, i drove up to when i got home today:
That's right. those fuckers not only did not take any of the garbage at all, but the also knocked the top off of it and dropped the can in the road.
now again, this garbage was pretty heavy due to the litter and such in it. i would say a good estimate was 150lbs.
and it's totally acceptable to a person not to be able to lift 150lbs if your profession is a computer programmer, or worlds best knitter, or 5yr old girl. But these are garbage men. they get paid day in and day out to lift large amounts of dead weight 3 ft into the back of a truck.
also, since i'm a computer programmer and i was able to take the garbage both to and from the road...you can remove the from the list above.
here's the kicker....they could have taken 2 min and removed some of the stuff from the inside one at a time to lighten the load and allow them to do their job. instead they decided to dump it in the road. so i hope they enjoy all of the same shit they didn't take today plus 1 more weeks worth of stuff next week. it's not like i can make it go away on my own. it's garbage for fucks sake.
i hope he dies in a garbage fire and his children grow hooves from a day that touches garbage all day.
the garbage man problem seems to be better than ever.
thanks to lots of recycling and just not creating that much trash, i only put a can on the side of the road about once a month. 1 time a month i ask my garbage men to do a job that i technically pay them to do 4 times a month. i would say that's a pretty good deal.
now it goes without saying that most of the garbage i do throw away is bags of cat litter which can cause some weight. but in the grand scheme of garbage, it's not that heavy. so for the first time in a month, i put my garbage out this morning. this was what, to my surprise, i drove up to when i got home today:
That's right. those fuckers not only did not take any of the garbage at all, but the also knocked the top off of it and dropped the can in the road.
now again, this garbage was pretty heavy due to the litter and such in it. i would say a good estimate was 150lbs.
and it's totally acceptable to a person not to be able to lift 150lbs if your profession is a computer programmer, or worlds best knitter, or 5yr old girl. But these are garbage men. they get paid day in and day out to lift large amounts of dead weight 3 ft into the back of a truck.
also, since i'm a computer programmer and i was able to take the garbage both to and from the road...you can remove the from the list above.
here's the kicker....they could have taken 2 min and removed some of the stuff from the inside one at a time to lighten the load and allow them to do their job. instead they decided to dump it in the road. so i hope they enjoy all of the same shit they didn't take today plus 1 more weeks worth of stuff next week. it's not like i can make it go away on my own. it's garbage for fucks sake.
i hope he dies in a garbage fire and his children grow hooves from a day that touches garbage all day.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
spoiler alert!
i just figured out how the series Lost will end. at least how it would end if i was the writer.
it's all just a dream. it's Gilligan's dream. and it ends with him waking up on HIS island and when he tells the story to the skipper, he gets hit with a hat. fade to black. credits.
send my oscar to:
123 fake street
happyville, USA.
it's all just a dream. it's Gilligan's dream. and it ends with him waking up on HIS island and when he tells the story to the skipper, he gets hit with a hat. fade to black. credits.
send my oscar to:
123 fake street
happyville, USA.
Monday, April 12, 2010
houses, travel, and cars
houses:
to buy a rental property or not to buy. that is the questions. if i have the money. buy. but and charge and make money.
travel:
i want to travel. not like, man, i want to see this or i want to see that. i want to travel as in, have i seen it yet? no? then i want to go to there. Antarctica, sign me up, Sahara desert...yes please, des moines, Iowa.....yup. i literally want to go to every possible place ever. ideally, i could be rich enough to not have to worry about travel costs. i could just grab my cash, hop on a plane, and be somewhere i've never been. i literally want to travel the world, taking pictures, and being happy. oh to make enough money to do whatever i want....
cars:
for the most part, top gear on the BBC, is the opposite of how i think. and by that i mean, i watch the shows, i see the cars, i want everything they have and are doing. but the environmentalist in me says i shouldn't want a 600hp car that uses a ton of gas per mile. so as much as i watch the show and want to have their job and do everything they do, i know the environmentalist in me won't allow it. the environmentalist in me is on the fence about letting me buy a corvette should i ever be able to afford one. and i would sell my family for a corvette...
here is what i need:
money to buy a ton of rental properties that in turn provide all of the money i need to travel anywhere i want in the world at anytime and to buy any car no matter what my morals tell me otherwise.....go!
to buy a rental property or not to buy. that is the questions. if i have the money. buy. but and charge and make money.
travel:
i want to travel. not like, man, i want to see this or i want to see that. i want to travel as in, have i seen it yet? no? then i want to go to there. Antarctica, sign me up, Sahara desert...yes please, des moines, Iowa.....yup. i literally want to go to every possible place ever. ideally, i could be rich enough to not have to worry about travel costs. i could just grab my cash, hop on a plane, and be somewhere i've never been. i literally want to travel the world, taking pictures, and being happy. oh to make enough money to do whatever i want....
cars:
for the most part, top gear on the BBC, is the opposite of how i think. and by that i mean, i watch the shows, i see the cars, i want everything they have and are doing. but the environmentalist in me says i shouldn't want a 600hp car that uses a ton of gas per mile. so as much as i watch the show and want to have their job and do everything they do, i know the environmentalist in me won't allow it. the environmentalist in me is on the fence about letting me buy a corvette should i ever be able to afford one. and i would sell my family for a corvette...
here is what i need:
money to buy a ton of rental properties that in turn provide all of the money i need to travel anywhere i want in the world at anytime and to buy any car no matter what my morals tell me otherwise.....go!
Monday, March 1, 2010
ahhh now that's pooping in comfort
so you know how in bathroom stalls in public places there are sometimes small gaps where the door hinges are or where the stall wall meets the building wall? not a big enough gap to really see inside, but you could definitely tell if someone was in the stall via that gap.
one of the stalls in the building i work in has an unusually large gap. close to 2 inches. it allows anyone walking into the bathroom pretty much a direct line of sight into that stall if one were so inclined to look.
i'll admit, i'm a looker. it's not that i'm going into the bathroom in hopes of getting to see someone in the action. it's more of i walk into the room, it's directly in front of me and if i see movement, my eyes are drawn towards it. this is the spot where i tell you it's ok if you secretly do this too but can't admit it to yourselves. it's the same concept when sitting in a hospital and you see people walking down the hall with those little "never completely close in the back" hospital gowns. you didn't come here specifically to see some old man's ass and by golly, even when you look up from your book or whatever you are using to kill time, you're not saying to yourself..."oh i hope their gown isn't closed." but when it happens, when you look up, see the gown and realize it's open...you look right at their ass. i dare any of you to tell me you look away before inspecting the gown gap for exposed ass.
but i'm off subject.
i don't use that stall with the gap because of this peeping tom effect it has. so imagine my surprise just now on my trip to the bathroom when i walked in and realized that the guy in that stall is 100% naked save for his shoes.
so here is the scenario. you get up, head to the bathroom, hop on into the stall and think, man, pooping sure is great at 3am when i'm stark naked. so you proceed to disrobe, pulling you pants off over your shoes, hang your clothes on the hook on the stall door, and go to town. weird.
there were 6 people in the bathroom at the same time i was in there (more than usual). i can't be the only one to have noticed that the most comfortable pooper in the world works in our building.
one of the stalls in the building i work in has an unusually large gap. close to 2 inches. it allows anyone walking into the bathroom pretty much a direct line of sight into that stall if one were so inclined to look.
i'll admit, i'm a looker. it's not that i'm going into the bathroom in hopes of getting to see someone in the action. it's more of i walk into the room, it's directly in front of me and if i see movement, my eyes are drawn towards it. this is the spot where i tell you it's ok if you secretly do this too but can't admit it to yourselves. it's the same concept when sitting in a hospital and you see people walking down the hall with those little "never completely close in the back" hospital gowns. you didn't come here specifically to see some old man's ass and by golly, even when you look up from your book or whatever you are using to kill time, you're not saying to yourself..."oh i hope their gown isn't closed." but when it happens, when you look up, see the gown and realize it's open...you look right at their ass. i dare any of you to tell me you look away before inspecting the gown gap for exposed ass.
but i'm off subject.
i don't use that stall with the gap because of this peeping tom effect it has. so imagine my surprise just now on my trip to the bathroom when i walked in and realized that the guy in that stall is 100% naked save for his shoes.
so here is the scenario. you get up, head to the bathroom, hop on into the stall and think, man, pooping sure is great at 3am when i'm stark naked. so you proceed to disrobe, pulling you pants off over your shoes, hang your clothes on the hook on the stall door, and go to town. weird.
there were 6 people in the bathroom at the same time i was in there (more than usual). i can't be the only one to have noticed that the most comfortable pooper in the world works in our building.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
it's been almost a month
and i apologize. i've been trying not to just blog about my regular bitchings and the comic has been taking up all the extra internet time i have (because i pretty much refuse to sit on the internet when i get home from work since i spend all damn day on the internet at work).
so tonight i am both blogging and rewriting my comic site. why? well i am rewriting my comic site because i am switching to my own web server instead of paying godaddy money to suck and i'm blogging because i had an idea today and i'm currently waiting for SQL server to install on my new web server.
my idea?
The movie "50 First dates is completely fucked up"
ok. so those not familar with the movie, adam sandler's f character falls in love with drew barrymore's character. drew's character got into an accident and is unable to create new memories. meaning every day she wakes up and thinks it's the day just before her accident.
why the movie is fucked up:
1. she's already going to wake up one day and look in the mirror and see that she's 70 and think that she's 28. can you imagine how terrible that would be?
and that actually has nothing to do with the movie...just the problem of not being able to make new memories.
why the movie is fucked up?
1. he finds a girl he knows won't remember him in the morning....and he goes back.
2. he finds a girl he knows won't remember him in the morning and thinks....i love her. she'll never remember a single thing we've ever done or for that matter....me.....sign me up.
3. he follows her around, learning her routine and uses it against her. other people do that too. they're called stalkers.
4. he uses the info he gains from stalking to try and make her fall in love with him.
5. (spoiler alert) at the end of the movie, they get married, move to a house boat with her family, and they have a kid. here's why the entire ending of the movie is god awful terrible:
a. he convinced her to marry her, which means, since she doesn't remember him everyday that she wakes up, that in one day he figured out a way to make her fall in love with her in under 24 hours and marry her in the same day.
b. eventually, after months and months of her waking up to her new "husband" that she's never met, he somehow convinces her (tricks her) into moving onto a house boat and driving that boat to some obscure ass place.
c. each and every day, she had to wake up, realize she was on a boat in the middle of no where with her family and some stranger (her husband) and had to figure out why.
d. eventually, she got preggers. that's right, every morning she had to wake up, figure out why she was out on a boat with some random dude and her family and why she was getting fatter.
e. eventually, she had to wake up, realizes she was on a boat in the middle of ??? with some random dude and her family, that she 8 months preggers even though yesterday she was on land and not preggers at all, and that the father is the random guy on the boat.
f. AND.....Eventually.......she wakes up, realizes she's on a boat in the middle of ??? with her family and some random guy and some random kid. guess what. not a random kid....YOUR kid. that's right. yesterday, you were 28, single, and on land and today you are 35, have a kid and on a boat in the middle of no where. pretty fucked up.
g. so each and every day, you wake up, realize you are on a boat in the middle of ?? with some random guy, some random kid (yours) and your family and you are expected to love both the random guy and the kid.
the fucked up part of that is that adam sandler's character is completely cool with this. i have to be honest with you, if heather got all bashed in and it made her not remember anything that happened after today, i would say "why oh why! what a horrible thing for everyone!" not "damn....this is my chance to be able to do whatever i want to her and if i get bored, i can just leave and she will literally not have any idea that i existed. in fact, she'll probably die alone with some stranger kid out on a random boat in the middle of no where.
50 first dates. one of the most fucked up movies ever.
so tonight i am both blogging and rewriting my comic site. why? well i am rewriting my comic site because i am switching to my own web server instead of paying godaddy money to suck and i'm blogging because i had an idea today and i'm currently waiting for SQL server to install on my new web server.
my idea?
The movie "50 First dates is completely fucked up"
ok. so those not familar with the movie, adam sandler's f character falls in love with drew barrymore's character. drew's character got into an accident and is unable to create new memories. meaning every day she wakes up and thinks it's the day just before her accident.
why the movie is fucked up:
1. she's already going to wake up one day and look in the mirror and see that she's 70 and think that she's 28. can you imagine how terrible that would be?
and that actually has nothing to do with the movie...just the problem of not being able to make new memories.
why the movie is fucked up?
1. he finds a girl he knows won't remember him in the morning....and he goes back.
2. he finds a girl he knows won't remember him in the morning and thinks....i love her. she'll never remember a single thing we've ever done or for that matter....me.....sign me up.
3. he follows her around, learning her routine and uses it against her. other people do that too. they're called stalkers.
4. he uses the info he gains from stalking to try and make her fall in love with him.
5. (spoiler alert) at the end of the movie, they get married, move to a house boat with her family, and they have a kid. here's why the entire ending of the movie is god awful terrible:
a. he convinced her to marry her, which means, since she doesn't remember him everyday that she wakes up, that in one day he figured out a way to make her fall in love with her in under 24 hours and marry her in the same day.
b. eventually, after months and months of her waking up to her new "husband" that she's never met, he somehow convinces her (tricks her) into moving onto a house boat and driving that boat to some obscure ass place.
c. each and every day, she had to wake up, realize she was on a boat in the middle of no where with her family and some stranger (her husband) and had to figure out why.
d. eventually, she got preggers. that's right, every morning she had to wake up, figure out why she was out on a boat with some random dude and her family and why she was getting fatter.
e. eventually, she had to wake up, realizes she was on a boat in the middle of ??? with some random dude and her family, that she 8 months preggers even though yesterday she was on land and not preggers at all, and that the father is the random guy on the boat.
f. AND.....Eventually.......she wakes up, realizes she's on a boat in the middle of ??? with her family and some random guy and some random kid. guess what. not a random kid....YOUR kid. that's right. yesterday, you were 28, single, and on land and today you are 35, have a kid and on a boat in the middle of no where. pretty fucked up.
g. so each and every day, you wake up, realize you are on a boat in the middle of ?? with some random guy, some random kid (yours) and your family and you are expected to love both the random guy and the kid.
the fucked up part of that is that adam sandler's character is completely cool with this. i have to be honest with you, if heather got all bashed in and it made her not remember anything that happened after today, i would say "why oh why! what a horrible thing for everyone!" not "damn....this is my chance to be able to do whatever i want to her and if i get bored, i can just leave and she will literally not have any idea that i existed. in fact, she'll probably die alone with some stranger kid out on a random boat in the middle of no where.
50 first dates. one of the most fucked up movies ever.
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