Two of every font

It's 3:30 am, i'm looking for fonts for the Indy Give Camp project I am working on and I stumbled across what might be the coolest font ever......

Why is this font so fucking awesome? because you can type and an arc appears? no. because you can type and noah appears? no. it's so fucking awesome because it includes not one, not two, but 3 different types of rain. perfect for typing out a civilization killing flood. but don't fret, when you get tired of doing god's work, just type a sun and a rainbow and low and behold, jesus is lord.


side note: part of me wants to buy a mini van just so i can get that entire lineup turned into those little family stickers people put on their shitty child haulers. who's my family? Noah, some friends, a bunch of bad ass animals, and the fucking biblical rains!

How Netflix makes me a better person

so there is a running joke at work. when i'm all pissed off and doing nothing but complaining (which is 95% of the time) my co-workers say "jason, tell me about netflix". They say this because apparently the only thing i have ever told them that wasn't a form of bitching and moaning was when i was talking about netflix. for them, netflix is the only thing that makes me happy. is this true? no. heather makes me happy. cars (that i don't own or have to fix or drive behind) make me happy. Is netflix better than those other things? no. but it's close. Netflix gives me hope for the world. netflix takes me from "burn the whole fucking thing down!" to "so it goes (vonnegut, one of 3 authors that can write books i'll actually read).

netflix will send out surveys to my email. i hate surveys. i hate implementing them, i hate taking them, i hate telling them to fuck off. I make it a point to participate in every single fucking survey netflix has ever sent me. we're going on 4 years now and i haven't skipped a single one. they have questions such as "when did weekend at bernies 9 arrive?" or "How was the watch instantly quality of short circuit 2". Yeah, i watch shit movies. that's the other great thing. Netflix doesn't judge me like you are...right now...i can feel it.

sometimes they fuck up. they had intended on sending me a movie, but their warehouse fucked up and didn't send it. Company A would say, "fuck'em. $13 a month. bitches can wait for their season 3 of Small Wonder dvd". How does netflix handle it? "We're sorry we screwed the pooch big time. not only are we sending you Small Wonder S3D2, but we're also including your next disc, "Mr. Belvedere S1D1"

Netflix, you've saved me from missing my mid 80s to mid 90s feel good comedies. And for that, i thank you. I might even sacrifice a puppy for you.

but wait! there's more!!

they ask me how quickly movies got to me, they ask me how good the quality was when i watch it online, the send me my next disc when they fuck up and send me a disc from my queue later than expected (usually about 24 whole hours late)....and tonight, i got the ultimate "Netflix Karma" email. and it goes as so:

"We're sorry you may have had trouble watching instantly. Yesterday, you may have had trouble instantly watching TV episodes or movies due to technical issues. We are sorry for the inconvenience this may have caused. If you attempted and were unable to instantly watch TV episodes or movies yesterday, click on this account specific link in the next 7 days to apply a 2% credit to your account."

blah blah more apology.

I want to start this segment of the blog post with the fact that i had no issues watching netflix watch instantly on the day in question. yet even though they have no way of knowing if i was even remotely inconvenienced, which most companies would say "stick a lead pipe up your ass", netflix apologized and gave me an honor system discount. the key words in the email are "If you attempted and were unable to". I attempted and WAS able to. so technically i don't qualify for the 2% discount. and i'll be honest, my reaction to the email was "awww man, i was able to watch instantly just fine"

so now the question is, who is too nice, netflix for offering a 2% discount to everyone regardless of an actual issue with their service, or me, the guy who honestly, full on questioned if he should click the link to get a 2% discount he doesn't deserve.

the answer is netflix. they're a big company creeping up on monopoly status. i'm a guy who makes not enough money a year. i'll take your 2% discount.....but i feel awful. honestly.


****edit- their company PTO (personal time off) policy is "do you need the time off? take it" meaning, they have no set amount of time off. their employees are on the PTO honor system. want a vacation? take it. sick? take a day off. we're cool with it so long as you're honest. amazing. world. you have a LOT to learn. sadly, i'm sure their employees are special as 95% of the world would fuck that system into an anally stretched, herpes ridden system that fails miserably because people are inherently dirt bags.

it's about video games

i finished 9-7. it's the first time i've ever played madden and haven't made the post season. i usually play the superbowl and this season i didn't make the post season. man i hate my team and my realistic sliders....

twist top vs pry top

this is a blog about beer because i am drinking beer and just had an epiphany.

it's pretty understood in the beer drinking crowd that pry off caps usually belong to the more expensive / pretentious beers. i completely agree and love that fact. shitty beer requires you to drink as much of it as you can as fast as you can to get drunk as fast as you can. good beer is consumed slowly, is tasted, and drunk is a very happy side effect.

miller lite goes so far as to rifle the necks of their bottles to blast the shitty triple hopped (saying something is triple hopped only matters if you can actually taste the hops......) beer into your tasteless mouth. you know what else rifles stuff into your mouth?........that's right....dick. people do it, but most people would rather not. i can't say the same for miller lite.

next time you are buying beer, check out the cap. does it have ridges for the screw top? yes? well then waste your money if you want to drink 17 beers to get drunk and fuck some chick that's "like totally excited to be out with her girls". but if you actually want to get drunk faster, drink beer that has a pry top because it is most likely something delicious and higher in alcohol than miller lite or equivalent. so you'll get drunk faster, it will taste better, and the girl you choose will probably be into more sophisticated stuff than labradoodles. she probably won't sleep with you because she's better than that, but hey, at least the beer was good.

This just in:

...that is all. You may return to your regular internet viewing.

Bob Sanders pronounced dead after a strong breeze rips his head off.

so bob sanders fell on his head and hurt his arm in the first game of the season last weekend and they think he might have a torn bicep which would essentially put him on the sidelines for the remainder of the season.

here is a fun snippet of text from an article on the colts web page that will make you feel bad about how much money you make compared to the amount of work you do:

"In 2005, Sanders started 14 times, earning his first Pro Bowl trip. A year later, Sanders missed 12 games with a knee injury but returned for the playoffs and was a key cog in the Colts' Super Bowl run. In 2007, a healthy Sanders started 15 games, made 132 tackles, was selected to his second Pro Bowl and was the NFL's defensive player of the year.
Irsay rewarded Sanders with a five-year, $37.5 million contract, $20 million of that guaranteed.
But since then, Sanders has been through pure misery.
He's missed 24 of 33 regular-season games with an assortment of injuries -- including a knee injury and the torn biceps that kept him out all but two games last season. And Sanders' career log now shows 48 games played, 49 games missed in seven seasons."

it's absolutely confirmed

i love topgear.
BBC America. check it out. you'll either love it or i'll hate you forever. and you don't want me to hate you because i'm so fashionable and popular.



...WATCH IT