Today, the redskins announced that donovan mcnaab is going to be demoted to second string for this week, then third string for the rest of the season. who will their starting QB be? why rex grossman of course? they did this because mcnaab has had a pretty bad season. seriously though, rex grossman has played in 1 game this season, in which he took 1 snap in which he got sacked, fumbled and let the defense run it back for a game winning touchdown......and the redskins just decided that he is going to be their best chance of winning.
naming grossman starter is kind of like declaring war on fans, their stadium, or anyone that could possibly enjoy redkins football or profit from it in any way.
Mike shanahan said, and i quote (by quote i mean i'm making up his quote because i assume he was too tweaked out on lsd laced crack to make actual words):
"I, Mike Shanahan, declare that i hate each and every one of you and i'm tired of seeing you in the stands every sunday. we haven't had that good of a year. donovan was supposed to be our white knight and instead has played quite poorly. though to be honest, even at his worst, she's still better than a large amount of NFL qb's. Jason campbell, Alex smith, matt schaub, ryan fitzpatrick, jake delhomme, derek anderson, rex grossman. i could go on for a while because the league is full of terrible quarterbacks right now. but i can't continue because i have an announcement to make. Rex Grossman will be our starting quarterback from now on. why am i making him a starter after having just listed him in the list of people worse than mcnaab?....because i hate each and every one of you. i've made some bad decisions this year and my players on a whole aren't very good. but it would be rude of me to blame the entire team. blaming the offensive line for the quarterback being sacked a lot is a dickish move. blaming the quarterback with 100% of the blame is the insane thing to do, which is why i'm doing it. really, this is a public service. naming rex grossman starting qb accomplishes several things:
1. think of all the food and wrappers and such that won't go to waste now that no one will be in the stands.
2. with grossman under center, very little light will be needed since it's pretty much a guarantee he'll just get sacked, so we can keep the lights down in the stadium.
3. and finally, and this is the important one people so please PLEASE pay attention. it will prove to you once and for all that rex grossman is just god fucking awful. i mean couldn't legitimately be the starting qb for a team of toddlers bad. this is to show all of the other teams in the league that they need to stop hiring this guy. the guy isn't fit to pick up towels in the locker room let alone play football. i am very excited to have him as our starting quarterback.
next week, i plan on benching all of my wide receivers and replacing them with badgers on crutches with chronic anal leakage."
seriously though folks. naming grossman the starting qb is one of the dumbest things i've ever heard though it could prove to be some very entertaining football.