Monday, November 30, 2009

my dry erase marker smells like wet gym socks...

and yet i smelled it 3 times just to make sure. and don't tell me you have never smelled something terrible, then gone back for seconds or thirds just to make sure it really does smell awful.

while eating lunch at a restaurant with some friends and their 2 yr old baby yesterday, yet another reason why my having children would be a terrible idea. see, this kid dropped a crayon on the ground and i picked it up. the baby instantly turned this into a game. let's see how many times jason will pick up my crayons.

the problem with this is, i'm also immature like a baby and i too turn it into a game. the only problem is, i'm much smarter and meaner than a baby. so for every crayon the baby dropped, i picked it up but placed it just outside of the babies reach. one crayon rolled away. the baby starred at it, waiting for me to get it. i actually looked at the baby and said "i'm not going to get that, i guess you're out of luck"

the baby then couldn't handle the fact that i wasn't picking it up and after squirming in the highchair for a while, was let loose by the mom. the second his feet hit the floor, he ran to the crayon to pick it up. it's a small victory for me, but a victory none the less. babies are like little poopy experiments.

other fun games to play with babies:

- teach them incorrect things. example: teach them a shirt is actually a shoe, fingers are actually arms...and so on

- place all of their favorite toys just centimeters out of reach

- when they are crying for no reason (like when they cry for attention) respond by fake crying back at them. eventually they will stop crying. continue to fake cry at them until a look of fear comes over their face.

- spend time teaching them how to dress themselves. once they have learned, replace all of their clothes with replicas two sizes too small.

Friday, November 13, 2009

you lazy S.O.B.s

for those of you with RSS readers, i have added an RSS feed to my comic. now the comic will come to YOU!!


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

working my way up the famous ladder

ok, so i'm not actually famous and most likely will not be. but i do still a little sense of pride because google images has taken a liking to my travel pictures.

searching common terms many people would search while researching a trip very frequently turns up my travel photos within the first two pages of results.

go to

example searches:
dublin's bridges at night
Kilmainham Gaol (jail)
Inside Dublin Castle

it also appears that google images only likes my ireland pictures.

Monday, November 9, 2009

i'm not calling you a cry-ass

but had you complained about this before i changed it, then i would have called you a cry ass.

the comic now displays the newest comic on the main page and you have to navigate to the older ones. as opposed to what it was before when the first comic was first and i made you work like dogs to get to the newest one.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

breaking news: north side man goes to the barber, gets hair cut

ahh indianapolis news. it's like news, only news that's old.

last month, there were a bunch of people waiting in line for the pork flu vaccine that may or may not cause elephantiasis of the balls or some other horrible side effects. yesterday, indy got another round and it was such big news again, that there were news helicopters covering it. it costs hundreds of dollars to run helicopters for a short amount of time and they used them to cover a story that they covered exactly the same way less than a month ago? did i mention that all the helicopter taped was people standing in line at the mall waiting to get a shot.

this is news chopper 8, high in the sky above the lafayette square mall where literally hundreds of people have turned out to get a flu shot. as you can see below, people are waiting in a nice orderly fashion lined up outside the mall. we will stick with this story as it develops.....whoa! did you see that? that lady just dropped her scarf. she can't be happy with that *turn the chooper around joe, we need a better angle on the scarf lady* as she dusts off her scarf, i can't imagine what is going through her head. did i just get the pork flu because of this? am i too late? what will happen to my children after i die, which she most certainly will. *joe...pan to the left* unbelievable turn of events here folks. there is actually an old lady hand out cough drops. perhaps the thought of the impending vaccine has caused these people to become lax. all i know is that grandma death down there is going to have alot of repenting to do on her death bed, which will surely be soon thanks to the pork flu, for all the people she is murdering here today with her cough drops of death. we will cut back to the mall whenever stories develop. now back to pablo in the studio.

thanks chopper 8. regular tap water is killing people at an alarming rate. you and your family are in great danger right now. find out why right after this...

does anyone else think it's funny that you're probably more likely to get the pork flu standing in a huddled mass out in the cold waiting for a vaccine than you would be if you just went about your normal life and washed your hands on a regular basis.

Monday, November 2, 2009

the new comic

ok. so the page for the new comic is up.

i know the page is ugly. when i get time, i will make it look pretty.

So the name of the comic is Gentleman's Beard Monthly. This is in no way an idea of what the comic is about. the comic has nothing to do with beards. the comic is just random shit that goes through my head. just like how i came up the title for the comic.

But as you will notice by the header of the page, there is a dashing gentleman with a beard. Once a month, you will receive a new beard via the header. I will post a new beard on the first of each month (or when the first comic of the month is due)

this will be the last i remind people about the comic via the blog and the last i will explain what the hell the comic is about. enjoy.

new comic

heather has convinced me to use my old comic management system to house this next comic. so i will do that, but i have to spend this evening preping it for the new comic since i did not do that this weekend. so in the meant time, i will give you the first comic via blog and move the rest to the new system starting wednesday.

This comic was inspired by halloween and a really interesting girl heather and i had the pleasure of eating dinner next to. this will be the only comic with a story. the rest you will have to figure out for yourselves.