Tuesday, April 27, 2010

i've said it once and i'll say it again: i hate my garbage men

my faithful readers know about my complaining about my mailman and my garbage men. the mailman problem fixed itself when i got a new mailman that isn't a dick.

the garbage man problem seems to be better than ever.

thanks to lots of recycling and just not creating that much trash, i only put a can on the side of the road about once a month. 1 time a month i ask my garbage men to do a job that i technically pay them to do 4 times a month. i would say that's a pretty good deal.

now it goes without saying that most of the garbage i do throw away is bags of cat litter which can cause some weight. but in the grand scheme of garbage, it's not that heavy. so for the first time in a month, i put my garbage out this morning. this was what, to my surprise, i drove up to when i got home today:

That's right. those fuckers not only did not take any of the garbage at all, but the also knocked the top off of it and dropped the can in the road.

now again, this garbage was pretty heavy due to the litter and such in it. i would say a good estimate was 150lbs.

and it's totally acceptable to a person not to be able to lift 150lbs if your profession is a computer programmer, or worlds best knitter, or 5yr old girl. But these are garbage men. they get paid day in and day out to lift large amounts of dead weight 3 ft into the back of a truck.

also, since i'm a computer programmer and i was able to take the garbage both to and from the road...you can remove the from the list above.

here's the kicker....they could have taken 2 min and removed some of the stuff from the inside one at a time to lighten the load and allow them to do their job. instead they decided to dump it in the road. so i hope they enjoy all of the same shit they didn't take today plus 1 more weeks worth of stuff next week. it's not like i can make it go away on my own. it's garbage for fucks sake.

i hope he dies in a garbage fire and his children grow hooves from a day that touches garbage all day.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

spoiler alert!

i just figured out how the series Lost will end. at least how it would end if i was the writer.

it's all just a dream. it's Gilligan's dream. and it ends with him waking up on HIS island and when he tells the story to the skipper, he gets hit with a hat. fade to black. credits.

send my oscar to:
123 fake street
happyville, USA.

Monday, April 12, 2010

houses, travel, and cars


to buy a rental property or not to buy. that is the questions. if i have the money. buy. but and charge and make money.

i want to travel. not like, man, i want to see this or i want to see that. i want to travel as in, have i seen it yet? no? then i want to go to there. Antarctica, sign me up, Sahara desert...yes please, des moines, Iowa.....yup. i literally want to go to every possible place ever. ideally, i could be rich enough to not have to worry about travel costs. i could just grab my cash, hop on a plane, and be somewhere i've never been. i literally want to travel the world, taking pictures, and being happy. oh to make enough money to do whatever i want....

for the most part, top gear on the BBC, is the opposite of how i think. and by that i mean, i watch the shows, i see the cars, i want everything they have and are doing. but the environmentalist in me says i shouldn't want a 600hp car that uses a ton of gas per mile. so as much as i watch the show and want to have their job and do everything they do, i know the environmentalist in me won't allow it. the environmentalist in me is on the fence about letting me buy a corvette should i ever be able to afford one. and i would sell my family for a corvette...

here is what i need:

money to buy a ton of rental properties that in turn provide all of the money i need to travel anywhere i want in the world at anytime and to buy any car no matter what my morals tell me otherwise.....go!