Monday, February 23, 2009

dear science

please invent a pill that makes the day about 10 hours longer without adding any more days to the year. with that pill, i also want it to make me motivated to do all of the things i want to do in a day but don't have the time for.

....dear science....i think i just asked you to invent speed.

i need more time and motivation in the day. i spend all day at work doing worky type things. then i get home and i want to ride my bike, i want to work on my portfolio (though it reminds me alot of being at work) and i have to do things like clean the house and give attention to the cats and go to the store and just general crap there is to do everyday. but i also want to do stuff like make a new web comic and play video games and build small contraptions.

new plan, instead of taking speed, i will steal some of the children from the neighborhood. after a few grueling days of demotivational reprogramming, they should be ready to go. i will then make them do all of the housework and other shit i don't want to do. that will free up plenty of time for heather and me to do whatever we want...and all without the bugs under the skin and constant need for more speed.

p.s.- also, please invent the self making enchilada

p.p.s. - 2 words: rocket scooter

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

in your best mario or stereotypical italian voice

dear e-lec-a-tricity,

why you so high? mario save lots of energy. we real good at turning offa da lights and keepinga da heat low.

you a no likea us? mario thought we werea frienda. i'ma keepa my eye on you. ifa you dont'a makea nice, ima gonna have to keel you with a fireballa.

yoursa truely,