The slow death of a car

So my little grand prix is on it's way out. It's been having little issues here and there. It's had the normal things go wrong like needing new shocks, brakes and such. Last summer, I had a little plastic coolant line spring a leak. It's not easily fixed because it's a plastic tube, not a hose, and the tube is wedged between the manifold and belt tensioner.

My attempts to repair this tube over the year was actually thwarted back in 2002 when a man without any form of engineering degree got loaded on beer and cocaine and designed the engine for a 2002 pontiac grand prix. I'm assuming that scenario to be true because of how hard it is to work on this car. You have to remove a 2.5 ft long engine support just to take out the battery. Want to measure your power steering fluid? that's behind the engine, about 2 ft down. you need to have a hand the size of an infant and an arm like stretch armstrong. It might be easier to take the engine out to check the fluid level.

So needless to say, i have been unable to fix the problem. I tried to fix it properly last friday by removing half of the engine (coolant lines, alternator, 1 belt tensioner, belt, water pump pulley, coolant overflow tank, and fuse box) all removed to try to get to that little plastic tube. I failed and had to put it all back together when the final bolt holding me back was discovered to be behind the power steering pulley, which requires a special machine to remove and replace.

I decided the way I was going to fix the hose was by slathering JB weld all over it and letting it seal the crack. That worked great for 2 days. Last night on my drive home, the JB weld gave way and all of my coolant proceeded to spew from my engine into my engine compartment. I got home, noticed a lot more steam than usual coming from the hood, opened it and discovered this:

That sound you hear is boiling. It sounds a lot like frying something on your stove. It's a nice mix of water and the oil coating the outside of my engine boiling. The water raining from the hood is where most of the spray was directed on my drive home.

I have made 1 more attempt to seal the tube. let's hope it works because right now I have to put water in my car before I drive it. Every time I drive it. The car can go roughly 20 miles at a time before I need to stop an put in water.