Thursday, August 5, 2010

Why cotton candy is destroying America

One day while wandering around the local fair, I stumbled across a small gentleman covered in tattoos and fleas handing out what appeared to be cotton. But this was not cotton. It was in fact a sort of confectionery. The small gentleman, hereby refereed to as the carnie, would take a wooden holding device and place it into a mechanical cotton gin. The "cotton candy" would then spin like a Nebraska twister until a large amount of it was gathered upon the holding stick. Children not twice as big as the confectionery itself would then proceed to consume the cotton as if the antidote was contained inside.

At this point, I decided to observe the effects the confectionery had on the tikes and to my amazement, discovered that it made the children euphoric and unable to control their feeble voice boxes. The amount and length of time the confectionery was contained in their system, the more barbaric these children became. It was at this time that I noticed that full grown adults were also "enjoying" the confectionery with similar results to the children. Any consumable that causes someone to lose control of their ability to reason causing them to devote their time and efforts to gain more of said consumable must not be allowed to flourish in America.

The most frightening aspect of this whole discovery at the local fair was the happiness in the children's faces. Every educated man in America knows that a happy child is an evil child.

I have commissioned a local artist to create a depiction of what i believe, nay, what I KNOW will happen to children if allowed to consume unwatched amounts of the cotton made from candy:





*note, i am implementing a new blog system at work and the above article was the test article i wrote. how many of you can say you have a picture of hitler with cotton candy on your work computer?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Red Bear-on

Bear-on to tower, am i clear for take off?

Bear-on, this is the tower. you are cleared for adorable flight!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

it's like we just got back from vacation again!

so i just realized that the gallery i use to display my travel pictures on my website only allows 50 pictures per gallery. what does this mean? that means if you only say our travel pictures via my website....you've only about half of the pictures!!

example: if you were to look at my paris pictures, it will stop when we are in the Orsay gallery. But in reality, that's about 1/3 of the Paris pics. you're missing all of the pics from new years at the Eiffel Tower and the entire next day At Versailles.

so i will quickly research and implement a new, non constricting system (or possibly write my own) and hopefully i can implement one that uses jquery instead of Flash so that people can actually load the gallery via Iphone or Droid.

stay tuned readers...

Friday, July 2, 2010

seedless watermelons eh?

try again kroger.

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Thursday, July 1, 2010

so far so good

so far, our internet is back and the comic is back up. we'll see if it lasts. you'll know if it doesn't if you go to view the comic and it's down. if it is, then do what you normally do, get irritated along with me and just wait for it to come back.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

sigh....once again....

as you can see, once again, my web comic is having problems.

our internet connection is pretty much dead so until At&t fixes the problem, you most likely won't be able to get to the comic. the internet works for about 10 min a day so if you are lucky enough to check the comic at that time, congrats.

i really really hope it's fixed this week and i really really hope all of these fucking problems go away so that i can actually enjoy having a web comic instead of it feeling like work i don't get paid for.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

which is better..1.....2

heather left her glasses at home this weekend (she is in michigan). i put on her glasses and realized her perscription is so weak, that i can still mostly see clearly through them. in fact, if i were at the eye doctor, my current eyesight would be 2 and her glasses are 1. which is better..1....or 2. 2. good.

i wonder what it's like not to be blind as hell like i am.

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