writing emails to austrailia is hard. especially when you have to name specific times. they're sleeping when i write the email, so even though we got their error today, i have to write the email as "yesterday". and then there's the constantly ending every paragraph or statement with "mate".
if it wasn't for my trusty translator, they would have no idea what i was saying to them.
so this morning, the plate in my leg is hurting like hell, to the point i'm limping a little. so i sat and thought to myself, why. why is today different than yesterday. then i looked outside and saw it was going to rain. that's when i realized that it's actually awesome that my leg hurts. i don't know if it's true that crazy norm's knee acts up when rains a comin, or there's going to be a blizzard because wilfred's sciatica is all a fluster again. all i know is my leg is a genius and i can predict the weather.
what's the point of having a 14in metal plate in your leg if it's not going to predict the weather for you.
i can't wait until i'm 90 and sitting on the porch. i'll be so tuned into my leg that there will be no need for the weather channel. the locals will call me "ol weathervane" and heather will be the crazy cat lady. i'll be so in tune with my leg i can make predictions such as "another lava storms a coming. best be gittin into your lava bunkers" or "robot wars a coming" (come on, like that many angry robots wouldn't change the weather in some way). plus, when i'm 90., i just assume that global warming will have consumed most of the earth and lava storms will be common. it's ok though, because we'll just get into our hover cars and fly up to our house which is on poles so tall that they are above the clouds. the clouds which are made of sulfur.
come on. don't let me know bleak distant future. i could be known as "ol weathervane".
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