Monday, November 30, 2009

my dry erase marker smells like wet gym socks...

and yet i smelled it 3 times just to make sure. and don't tell me you have never smelled something terrible, then gone back for seconds or thirds just to make sure it really does smell awful.

while eating lunch at a restaurant with some friends and their 2 yr old baby yesterday, yet another reason why my having children would be a terrible idea. see, this kid dropped a crayon on the ground and i picked it up. the baby instantly turned this into a game. let's see how many times jason will pick up my crayons.

the problem with this is, i'm also immature like a baby and i too turn it into a game. the only problem is, i'm much smarter and meaner than a baby. so for every crayon the baby dropped, i picked it up but placed it just outside of the babies reach. one crayon rolled away. the baby starred at it, waiting for me to get it. i actually looked at the baby and said "i'm not going to get that, i guess you're out of luck"

the baby then couldn't handle the fact that i wasn't picking it up and after squirming in the highchair for a while, was let loose by the mom. the second his feet hit the floor, he ran to the crayon to pick it up. it's a small victory for me, but a victory none the less. babies are like little poopy experiments.

other fun games to play with babies:

- teach them incorrect things. example: teach them a shirt is actually a shoe, fingers are actually arms...and so on

- place all of their favorite toys just centimeters out of reach

- when they are crying for no reason (like when they cry for attention) respond by fake crying back at them. eventually they will stop crying. continue to fake cry at them until a look of fear comes over their face.

- spend time teaching them how to dress themselves. once they have learned, replace all of their clothes with replicas two sizes too small.

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