so many of you know of the problems i have had with my garbage man. if not, feel free to read previous posts. i'm not going to bore the people that know with the details. needless to say, i adapted the way i threw out garbage to ensure i didn't piss off the guy that makes 20k a year picking up the worlds filth. Last tuesday, i went outside with a flash light and garbage bags to consolidate any stray grocery bags full of cat litter or other stinky, stray garbage inside my garbage can. I actually pulled out everything from the outside garbage can and condensed it to 4 easy to lift garbage bags.
You did it Jason. You finally figured out the very specific way the garbage man wants the garbage arranged in the can in order for him to do his fucking job and take the garbage.
drum roll please....
That's what i came home to find after my hard work. figured it out yet? if you guessed the mother fucker threw away my entire garbage can with my garbage. you win!!! your prize: 1 garbage can lid (shown above)
so now i either get to store garbage in my garage during the week while i wait for garbage day, or put it where the can used to be and let the raccoons distribute it throughout my yard.
So I had a week of healing. i've accepted my garbage fate. I have come to the conclusion that i get to spend another $40 of my hard earned money on something my garbage man will very likely throw away because he's pissed off he failed out of Indianapolis University and has to pick up bags of other people's shit for a living.
today i came home to find this:
He was nice enough to put the door in the mailbox for me. i put it on top to take the picture.
It's like Emeril delivered my mail. "Just add a dash of mail..BAM!"
seriously though, the door has been hanging on by 1 hinge for about a year now. but i repaired the hinge and it would take quite the force to pull it off. Now i don't know if you have ever watched a mailman in a truck deliver mail. They really he-man the mailbox doors when they open it. So i am giving the mailman the benefit of the doubt. He's in a hurry and my mailbox sucks.
but wait! look closer at the door. just above my now bent make shift bolt for a handle...tire tracks. he ran it over. I can only hope he gave it a pull, the door finally came all the way off and he said to himself "it's about TIME!. i will not let this cheap son of a bitch reattach this door." then he ran over it.
If i thought he did it on purpose like the garbage man, i would very much reattach this door in the most annoying of fashions. but alas, instead i will invest $23 in a new mailbox and will think of a fun way to display my address on it (regular numbers?.....snoooooooooze)
Now for the happier, but still picture ridden part of my blog post. while loading soap into the dishwasher i discovered something:
We use a lot of freaking spoons. In this case, nothing BUT spoons. That little kid from the Oracle's house would be sad (there is no spoon).
Finally, On saturday, I became an uncle again. His name is Jackson Rodgers, he's adorable (trust me, it takes a lot for me to say that, even about family) and tonight i watched him pee all over his dad.
No, that's not daddy holding him. That's grandpa.
blogcrest Out!
2 comments:
your garbage man woes make me laugh like a loon. perhaps he's in cahoots with the mailman?
side note, i remember in lafayette i always thought someone stole our trash cans. turns out they blew down the street to a pond/ditch. if you're in need of more, there might be like five or six in there.
congrats on the new nephew!
I had hoped that it was just blown away. One day i found it more than 12 houses away laying in someones yard. however, this time it was not windy at all and all of my neighbors much lighter garbage cans were right where they should be.
i'll get my revenge. i'm going to drill a hole to the center of the earth right where i put my garbage can by the street. then when he comes to pick up the garbage can, he will uncover the hole and BAM! hot lava to the face.
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